MUN Cafeteria to start serving nearly fully-cooked food

in Satire by


ST. JOHN’S – Memorial University announced today that the cafeteria would begin phasing in food which is “almost fully-cooked”. Students have been protesting recently that the food served at the cafeteria by the catering company Aramark was undercooked and a health hazard.

Students have been sharing horror stories of pink meat and raw oysters which are sending some students to the hospital.

“We are aware of the problem and will begin serving food which is closer to being properly cooked,” said MUN spokesman Bruce Llosis.

Aramark and Memorial University say that serving fully and properly cooked food is just too expensive, so students will have to make do with food which is nearly fully-cooked.

“Students only pay around $3000 a semester for a meal plan; we can’t be expected to serve gourmet, cooked food for that price,” said Aramark’s Nancy Jejuni.

The new menu is set to go into effect next month.



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